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Larry David has let the cat out of the bag. The real-life inspiration of the George Costanza character from the long-running Seinfeld sitcom has had all he can take. He lets his disdain be known for the movie Brokeback Mountain. David, while trying to be funny, has spoken what many in the quasi-liberal camp have been trying to avoid. Homosexuality was fine for them when it was a concept—an idea whose “time had come”—but now that we have Hollywood releasing propaganda pieces that are far from conceptual and, in fact, leave little to the imagination, it’s time to call the dogs out.
David writes, “Somebody had to write this, and it might as well be me. I haven’t seen Brokeback Mountain, nor do I have any intention of seeing it.” He writes this as something of an apology. Like it is expected that all good left-leaning socialites have an obligation to endure this film. David won’t have it; he won’t play by their rules. Even though, he says, “I love gay people. Hey I’ve got gay acquaintances. Good acquaintances, who know they can call me anytime if they had my phone number.” Of course, “good” and “acquaintance” don’t quite go together. Sort of like jumbo and shrimp. But this is the unwritten code, the secret handshake between the moderate liberal and the gay community. We’ll support you all in the idea of gay, just don’t make us look at it.
Gay guys always seem like they’re having a great time. At the Christmas party I went to, they were the only ones who sang. Boy that looked like fun. I would love to sing, but this weighty, self-conscious heterosexuality I’m saddled with won’t permit it.
This is the Jack Tripper stereotype. Gays are boisterous, fun-loving, happy-go-lucky people. I bought a pair of shoes from a gay guy the other day, and I must admit that he was a rather fun, knowledgeable, likeable sort of guy. But Brokeback Mountain has destroyed this stereotype for the “Larry Davids” of the world.
I’m for gay marriage, gay divorce, gay this and gay that. I just don’t want to watch two straight men, alone on the prairie, fall in love and kiss and hug and hold hands and whatnot. That’s all. Is that so terrible? Does that mean I’m homophobic? And if I am, well, then that’s too bad. Because you can call me any name you want, but I’m still not going to that movie.
Yes, Larry, according to the prevailing logic, you are homophobic. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. “Mother Nature” herself is homophobic. Only heterosexual sex yields offspring, so this should at least tell us something. In a naturalistic world driven by the “survival of the fittest,” homosexuals would last precisely one generation, not exactly the “fittest” by purely natural standards. Likewise, from a strictly artistic standpoint, there is no way for Hollywood to make “gay love” appealing to heterosexuals visually. No matter what we claim our views on homosexual issues are, an in-your-face image of two men “kissing and whatnot” will be found to be revolting to most people. Larry David is happy with the stereotype, thank you very much, and he doesn’t want any clearer mental image than he already has to ruin it.
All of this could have larger ramifications than we realize. I would venture to surmise that there are a great many “moderates” out there who were all for “gay this, and gay that” but have felt somewhat betrayed by this extreme propaganda. As Gary pointed out in an earlier article, why cast two teen-idol straight men to play the parts in this movie? Why? Because Brokeback Mountain is a movie meant to break down stereotypes and change people’s minds. But, just like Larry David, they may end up wishing that they had left this taboo alone. Breaking down these stereotypes may just blow up in their faces…not that there’s anything wrong with that.
 Larry David, “Cowboys are my weakness,” International Herald Tribune, January 10, 2006. Online: http://www.iht.com/articles/2006/01/02/opinion/eddavid.php
 John Ritter’s character in the 1970’s sitcom Three’s Company. Jack had to act “gay” so that Mr. Furley, the landlord, would let him live in the apartment with the two girls.
 Famous (infamous?) line from the Seinfeld episode that dealt with “gay” issues. Jerry and the gang uttered this line over and over again throughout the episode.
 Understand that I don’t endorse the idea of Mother Nature, any more than I do the Easter Bunny. I am merely using naturalistic logic to dismantle naturalism.