The American Vision: A Biblical Worldview Ministry

A Modest Proposal to Save the Planet

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“For people who are looking for ways to reduce their ‘carbon footprint,’ here’s one radical idea that could have a big long-term impact, some scientists say: Have fewer kids.” This was the conclusion of a study by statisticians at Oregon State University. I offer my own “Modest Proposal” in light of calls for decreasing the number of children to save the planet. Population experts tell us that we are heading for critical mass where population growth will soon out-pace food supplies. Water, arable land, and natural resources are in limited supply. Such concerns, we are told, affect us all, regardless of political affiliation. One mouth is just as hungry as another.

One way to avert an over-population calamity is to shrink population size by pro-active means. Some prominent billionaires have devoted their after-tax fortunes to such a task. A capital idea. But wouldn’t it be best to eliminate only those who are true problems, those who lack social utility? I believe “useless eaters” is the appropriate and well-established phrase. A bit of discrimination is needed based on a studied statistical analysis. A simple assessment of purpose and need are in order.

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By all means, a person’s background and potential for contributing to society should be taken into account. Only the best people should be exempted from the weeding out process. No doubt we could convince potential parents that their present “sacrifice” would result in a benefit for those who remain, including themselves. What groups commit the most crimes? What groups are a drain on tax dollars? There are other sensitive but necessary questions to be asked. Margaret Sanger, founder of Planned Parenthood and author of The Pivot of Civilization, was not afraid to ask them. Such measures are for the good of us all.

Abortions should be funded by tax dollars. Make the procedure easy and cheap. Now if we can only get the right people to take these contraceptive measures. Liberals should be the first to self-limit since contraception is their liturgy and abortion their sacrament. We should be making every inhibitor to reproduction legal to them and those within their circle of influence. Of course, we’ll look the other way if they choose some illegal methods. Anything to support their cause.

The public schools, bastions of liberal social thought, should hand out condoms by the truck load to anyone who wants them. Birth control pills should be ground up and placed in the school’s drinking water. The pills should be flavored like candy and passed out as rewards to students who can daily quote and practice the cardinal doctrines of political correctness, socialistic economic policies, and unbridled tolerance. School nurses should provide medical vouchers for vasectomies. (We wouldn’t want to discriminate based on sex.) Only those who believe in the generosity of the paternal State could get one.

This will mean fewer liberals and anti-Christians in the future. While pro-abortion liberals are doing the environmentally friendly and politically correct thing, Christian conservatives with their large families will dominate the culture in a generation or two. The Duggars are the future!

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